Your Easter Candy: What it May Be Saying About You

  • March 25, 2013
  • Jenna Maxwell

Easter is March 31st

Easter comes a little bit early this year, (March 31) which leads me to a very important question.  Have you bought your Easter candy yet?  I know it kinda snuck up on most of us, but you may want to schlep yourself over to the store and pick up your Easter candy favorites quickly, because believe it or not, we are down to mere days before Easter Sunday is upon us.  Unless your favorite candy is store-brand jelly beans, buying Easter candy is not something you can really afford to procrastinate; especially when there is this much sweet and delectable fun to look forward to.  Here’s a little scoop on some of your favorites!

Peeps:  These sugary, chick-shaped marshmallow treats are an Easter time standby.  People who prefer “Peeps” above all the other Easter candy options, should be prepared for a little extra scrutiny, however, and might be considered slaves to candy fashion.  Peeps are fat-free (the good news) and indeed will provide a powerful sugar rush, but with nothing but marshmallow and sugar to offer a candy lover, anyone who prefers these sugary chicks is just a little weird.  If your motto is “the weirder the better” then go ahead and pretend to love Peeps.  The chocolate-covered variety might offer you a small amount of candy redemption.

Cadbury Crème Eggs:  The person who loves these babies is unafraid of personal indulgence.  You almost have to use your tongue in order to dig out the creamy filling from inside the chocolate shell, so just watching someone eat one of these delights can be a mildly sensual experience.  Cadbury Crème Eggs are filled with both yellow and white fondant, which although sounds pretty fancy, is actually a simple concoction of just sugar and water that has been beaten into creamy deliciousness.  Rich and decadent, a Cadbury Crème Egg is enjoyed by deep-thinking, soulful types who are unafraid to indulge their senses.

Cadbury Mini Eggs:  Anyone who has made the magical discovery of these Easter treats knows the meaning of quiet chocolate gratification.  In a word, these innocuous looking candy eggs are wicked, wicked, wicked.  These Mini Eggs are made of solid, creamy milk chocolate with a hard candy shell on the outside.   Because they are small you can eat these with a little less psychological damage (guilt) but be careful, they are pretty addicting and I’ve known people who’ve felt compelled to scour more than one store in hopes of scoring a few bags of these.  If you gotta have ‘em, get moving as they tend to disappear quickly. (Consider yourself warned…)

Pastel M&M’s:  You know who you are and you are a candy conformist.  M&M’s are classic candies loved by the masses but you might need to up your game a little as plain pastel M&M’s are just a little bit boring.

Robin Eggs:  These are malted-milk balls made into a pastel colored, speckled egg shape just for Easter.  If these are your favorite Easter candy, you likely march to the beat of your own drummer. 

Jelly Beans:  At Easter time everyone knows that jellybeans are no longer considered beans at all, but they are now “eggs”.  This colorful confection has actually been around since the 17th century and was marketed heavily to the Union Soldiers during the Civil war.  If jellybeans are your favorite you are not alone. They were also a well-known favorite of President Ronald Reagan.  Jellybeans are loved by candy traditionalists and based upon their unique history; this treat is arguably the most patriotic of the Easter candy line up.

Chocolate Bunnies:  The National Confectioners Association claims that kids prefer chocolate bunnies at Easter time above all other candies.  (Does this go for big kids, too?) The important thing you need to realize is that there is a preferred technique for properly devouring a chocolate bunny.  Ears first, followed by the feet, and then the tail.  After that, it’s a chocolate free-for-all.  Enjoy! 

Hard-Boiled Eggs:  I know, they aren’t even candy.  They shouldn’t even be a part of this list, except that I know people who say “I don’t eat candy” or “I don’t really like sweets” or “candy is for kids”.   Say what?  If you are one of these hard-boiled egg people, your purpose in life is probably to make the rest of us candy lovers feel really guilty and for that reason I might hate you.  Enjoy the protein as well as the ride on your high horse because you probably have no soul. 

Happy Easter and may all your candy dreams come true!